As a working mum with kids at home for the foreseeable future I think it’s fair to say we face challenging times ahead. Schools are closed. The government’s advice is to not have older relatives look after kids to avoid the spread of coronavirus. Child care options are quickly disappearing and so the supports that we previously had leaned into to make our lives work are disappearing. To add to this kids extra curricular activities are all off so their usual outlets like sport and creativity are on hold. This sounds like a recipe for an emotional pressure cooker situation and we need to go into this prepared.

I routinely speak to clients that are working mothers about the importance of getting support to release pressure in their lives. Women feel stressed and overwhelmed by the work life juggle at the best of times. I talk about the importance of creating a tribe (often a paid one) to help you with the care of your kids to ease the load, meaning less pressure and less stress. Sharing the load helps women maintain their resilience and sanity. And now we find ourselves in a time where the supports are slipping away and will be completely gone in the next couple of weeks as this coronavirus crisis unfolds.

Compassion
Now is the time to dig deep and know the support needs to come from within you. It primarily comes from a place of self compassion. Compassion for ourselves and our loved ones. When we operate from this place we are gentler, slower, kinder to ourselves and others. It’s exactly what we all need right now. Our kids will love us for it and we will benefit from it immensely.

Lower your expectations
If you are anything like me you may need to lower the bar of expectations about what this time in isolation will look like. Kids may watch more television or spend more time on their devices than they ever have. Telling yourself that’s ok will take the parenting guilt, angst, stress and worry out of the situation.

Pick your battles
Day one of home schooling saw my daughter wanting to study in her dressing gown. Why hound her about a shower and getting dressed? If you are a perfectionist by nature (I know I am!) be aware that you could be applying those perfectionistic tendencies to this tricky and unprecedented situation we find ourselves in. This is a good opportunity to let go of perfection and be ok with good enough. Letting go of the unimportant stuff like wet towels on the floor, bowls of food left on dining room tables will mean you stay sane. Try to focus on what matters most.

Look after yourself
We all know the importance of putting our oxygen masks on in the case of an emergency if a plane is going down. Ensuring you have your oxygen mask on is important during this time. What are you doing to keep yourself sane so you can be a compassionate and less stressed mother? Create time for exercise, eat well, avoid sleep deprivation and have something that you do for you scheduled as often as you can. That could be reading, watching movies, listening to podcasts, meditating. Find your thing. Factoring yourself into this isolation equation will help you get through this trying time.

Good luck! We are all in this together!